The Gift of Caring: Navigating the Financial and Emotional Impact of Caregiving
We often talk about leaving legacies and building wealth for future generations. But what happens when the flow reverses, and you find yourself caring for aging parents while still supporting your own financial goals?
At Truman Wealth Advisors, we've noticed a growing trend among our clients – the "sandwich generation" – those caring for aging parents while supporting their own children. This caregiving role, while filled with love and devotion, comes with significant impacts that aren't always measured in dollars.
Reframing the "Burden" as a Gift
While we often hear about the "burden of care," I prefer to think of it as the gift of care. Caring for those who once cared for us is a profound expression of love and gratitude. It's a chance to give back, to honor, and to create meaningful memories during life's final chapters.
When my own mother needed care in her final months, I realized something beautiful: allowing someone to care for you is itself an act of love. By accepting help, our parents give us the opportunity to express our devotion. This perspective shift doesn't erase the challenges, but it can transform how we experience them.
Setting Boundaries: The Art of Sustainable Caring
Caregiving doesn't mean doing everything yourself. In fact, trying to handle every aspect of care often leads to burnout and resentment – emotions that diminish the gift for everyone involved.
Consider separating caregiving into distinct roles:
Physical Care: Assistance with activities of daily living
Emotional Support: Companionship and psychological well-being
Financial Management: Handling bills, investments, and planning
Medical Advocacy: Coordinating with healthcare providers
Spiritual Care: Supporting meaningful connection and purpose
While these areas naturally overlap, recognizing them as separate domains allows family members to contribute based on their strengths. Your brother might not be comfortable helping mom bathe, but he might excel at managing her finances or driving her to church.
The Financial Reality of the Gift
Even with this reframed perspective, we must acknowledge the financial implications:
Career Impacts: 75% of family caregivers are women, and women are 73% more likely than men to leave a job due to eldercare responsibilities. This affects earnings, retirement savings, and Social Security benefits.
Out-of-Pocket Expenses: The average family caregiver spends about $7,000 annually on caregiving costs, from household items to medical expenses not covered by insurance.
Long-Term Financial Effects: Reduced work hours, career interruptions, and forgotten retirement contributions can compound over time.
Creating Your Caregiving Financial Strategy
Just as we advise having an investment policy statement for your portfolio, we recommend developing a "caregiving financial strategy" that addresses these challenges:
Have "the talk" before crisis hits: Discuss finances, healthcare preferences, and legal documents with your parents while they're still healthy.
Create a care team: Identify who will handle different aspects of care, leveraging each person's strengths and availability.
Protect your earning power: Before reducing hours or leaving work, explore alternatives like FMLA leave, flexible scheduling, or hired help.
Set financial boundaries: Be clear about what you can contribute financially, and look into resources like Medicare, Medicaid, veterans benefits, or long-term care insurance.
Practice self-care: The most sustainable gift is one that doesn't deplete the giver. Taking care of your own physical, emotional, and financial health isn't selfish – it's necessary.
The Joy in the Journey
True wealth isn't just about accumulating assets – it's about living with purpose and meaning. By reframing caregiving as a gift and establishing healthy boundaries, you can transform what might feel like an obligation into an opportunity for deeper connection.
Our job at Truman Wealth is to help you make informed financial decisions as your navigate your financial journey. After all, the ultimate goal is to support intergenerational care in a way that aligns with your financial priorities.
Live a wealthy life, my friends — balancing purpose, connection and financial awareness.
